


Invasion of the Chickens

by buying_the_space_farm



Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: Chickens, Funny, Humor, a CRAPLOAD of chickens, at least i hope so..., everywhere, like everywhere chickens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 17:08:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3418745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buying_the_space_farm/pseuds/buying_the_space_farm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Invasion of the Chickens (Or why there are so many freaking chickens in the Labyrinth)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Invasion of the Chickens

When asked, most people will say that it is an impossible question to answer. Because you really can’t answer. It is impossible. And the the Devil’s Advocates get in on it and the whole argument just goes to Hell in a hand-basket. Then, add in Religious people, and people start dying from the cross-fire. It’s bad, to say the least. What’s your opinion?

You don't know the question? What kind of person doesn't know the question? Well, I guess I didn't tell you what it was, so it would be easy to get confused.

Here’s the question: Which came first? The chicken- or the egg?

(You can see why there might be bloodshed)

* * *

 According to Jareth, the Goblin King (he’s a king, of course he has an opinion on this matter), it all started with that damned egg. Though, at the time, all the goblins didn’t know that it was an egg. They just thought it was an odd type of rock. The only reason that they hadn't destroyed it (yet) was because the Great Beast (also known as the Great Rock Caller, Ludo) had taken to it, making sure that none of the goblins that so liked to torture him could hurt it (though why he was worried about the rocks well-being, no one really knew, nor cared to ask). Now, a  great, shaggy beast is bound to generate heat, especially enough heat to help incubate an egg, even if the egg is resting on top of his head, and not beneath a feathered behind.

And it came to pass that the egg hatched.

And all Hell broke loose.

Along with some chickens.

* * *

Now, when the goblins came to present Jareth with this strange new… creature, he had to admit to himself that he was also curious. Could you blame him? It was something new, and he had been living with the same creatures for a millennia. Things tended to get boring. But the weird, small, fuzzball was not what he was expecting. He had heard of such things from the Aboveground, and they looked nothing like this. (He had also heard that they were related to some sort of ostrich thing that breathed fire, but that may have just been some sort of rumor. It didn't seem like a bird of this size could breathe fire.) So on his next trip to the Aboveground, he also kidnapped a couple chickens (for that's what it was- a baby chicken) to see how they acted as adults and whether they would make suitable subjects.

They didn't make suitable subjects. They did their… business… everywhere, were loud, and wherever they decided to put their nest is where they expected to die it seemed. They were as bad as the Junkyard beings. They soon became the scourge of the Labyrinth in Jareth’s eyes, but for some reason or another, the goblins liked them. It may have been because they liked annoying the chickens, or it may have been because they liked to annoy Jareth. Either way, it was then that Jareth forever deemed it the Invasion of the Evil Scourge of Edible (and Quite Delicious When Prepared Correctly) Fowl.

(The other Kingdoms were quite lucky, in that they never had to deal with subjects that were nearly as stubborn as their King, but then again, they didn't deal with humans on a regular basis. Jareth was sure that they certainly didn't have to deal with stupid birds that didn't know the floor from the window sill, or a bed from a roof (and that is an entirely different story that Jareth was hoping he would never have to recount).)

But it seemed whatever he did, he couldn't get rid of them: they were the cockroaches of fowl (or else there were just very pro-Chicken goblins out there who were willing to risk the wrath of their King). In fact, he almost burned down the castle trying to get rid of all the nests, which then only made him more wrathful. It was when the fifth generation of the stupid birds finally came about that he finally gave up and said (to himself) screw it all, and he just dealt with the smell.

It did cover up the goblin stench after all...

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I was doing a fanfiction writing contest with a friend to see who could write the better humor piece, since it is out of both our comfort zones. Hope it was funny!  
> And yes, there is a Doctor Who reference in here (an ostrich breathing fire, for you non-Whovians)


End file.
